Pacmom's new suitor

Personal & Confidential“Pacmom”Nanay Dionisia PacquaioGeneral Santos City, Phil.

Dear Pacmom:

First off, hearty congratulations on your birthday and the marvelous, festive bash your grateful son threw for you.

Besides all the titles and other honorifics he has won, no your son Manny is a lock for Son of the Year if not Son of the Decade.

I guess my invitation got lost in the mail or email. Either that or somebody from Ricky Hatton Promotions or Golden Boy sabatoged me.

Bitter losers, you see.

Look, Pacmom if I may call you that respectfully, I don’t want you think I’m some sort of male tramp who goes around issuing marriage invitations like they are postcards.

Not by any means…in fact, the last time I wrote such a lovestruck column was in my callow youth when I fell in love with a half-Filipino Olympic ice skater named Tai Babilonia at Lake Placid. Unfortunately, I never got a reply from that beautous Fil-Am. Guess she did not read The New York Post. Either that, or she saw my column photo.

I understand that you are single and looking, Pacmom. I did not you were such a fancy dancer, Pacmom, but how about it if we give each other a whirl?

I hope I don’t risk getting jacked up like Mr. De La Hoya or Mr. Hatton did if I say, again with absolute reverence and respect, that you are a no doubt “hottie.”

Please do not mention this comment to Megamanny as I don’t wish to upset him in any way.
Not only am I taken with your looks but also with your fashion sense, dancing skills and what GenSan.com refers to as your overall quirky but radiant personality…you seem to have enough of a sense of humor to go out with a joker like me.

And I’m seeing stars and moonbeams without even having met you…

I, too, have a birthday coming up. You are the older woman I have long fantasized about.
Notice I did not say much older, lol, just fractionally older. OK, you’ve got me by 13 months.
But age is just a number.

Please don’t think that your wealth is a magnet for me. I mean, I don’t mind that my becoming his “stepfather” would put me into Manny’s inner circle and possibly get me on the burgeoning Pacman Payroll.

If you can handle my two cats, Mr. Broadway and Mike Tyson (a female, strangely enough) then I can overlook your riches.

That’s what a loving relationship should be all about, some give and some take.
I haven’t ready about your dating habits, Pacmom, but I am sure you can have your pick of bachelors, Pinoy and otherwise. This is what I just read on Gensantos.com about you:
"She is considered as the Philippines most famous mother celebrity today, not necessarily because her offspring is World Boxing Champ and national hero Manny Pacquiao but because she is, by herself a quirky, lovable character, a truly Pinoy original which makes her a newsworthy personality.

Her trip to the US of A and back hugged a good number of headlines and even HBO Sports special 24/7 has featured her arrival in Las Vegas after having included her in their previous special on the Pacquiao-Dela Hoya fight. Various news crews assigned to cover the boxer have also been dispatched to get hold of his mother and include her in their interviews. Indeed, Mommy Dionisia, just like her famous son has already acquired a mystique all her own. Men seek her autographs, women want to be pictured with her and reporters fall in line to capture each word that comes out of her mouth."

I am also fine, if we click and get that far, with your having me sign a prenuptial agreement. Then the world will know I’m no golddigger.

I really only have one request other than giving me a shot, one night only if you insist.
I’d like to wine and dine you just to see if we might be a hot match. No Dutch treat, I’ve got the tab covered and no Mickey D’s food, either.

Sure, I’ll travel to Gensan. I am heading to your country this year anyway.
If you feel uncomfortable at first, maybe I can get Home Recah Trinidad to act as our chaperone. I bet Manny would like that.

I look it this way, you could do better, I am sure, but you could also do worse. Ditto for me so maybe I'll be like Streisand, crooning "People who need people" to you under the lunar glow.
(Money saving tip: Unlike the WBC and other such groups, I do not require any sanctioning fee from a prospective bride.)

This could be Bob Arum's worst nightmare but I bet he'd come up big for a wedding gift.
My only premarital request is: I get a primo ringside ticket for all of Manny’s fights.
Think it over, Pacmom, because I think we could make some beautiful music together.
If this works, I won’t need no stinking press credential.