yes i'm back!
im super happy to be with my kidlat and mahal. im enjoying every second with my baby kidlat
kahit na mapuyat at kahit na kakapagod. wala nang mas sasaya pa sa pagiging isang ina. meron pa kong super loving na hubby - kumpleto na kami. =)
thank you Lord sa lahat lahat..
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
paalam dubai
Paalam Dubai. Parang kelan lang halos illipad ko ang katawan ko makaalis lang ng Pinas at makarating lang ng Dubai. Ngayon, dalawang tulog na lang at babalik na ko sa Pinas for good. Hindi naging madali sakin ang desisyon nato.. pero sa tuwing maiisip ko si Kidlat sinasabi ko sa sarili ko – tama ang desisyon ko.
Ang dami ko sanang gustong isulat.. ang dami ko gustong ikwento.. pero parang masyado akong lutang ngayun. I don’t know how to express my feelings at this point. Hindi kasi naging mailap ang sakin ang maayos na kapalaran sa Dubai.. mabilis ako nakahanap ng maayos na work, di ko naranasan magexit, di ko naranasan maghanap ng part-time job.. sakto lang.. sapat lang – ganun ako. Pero may mga ilang wrong move ako na ginawa kaya naging rocky-road ang buhay disyerto ko. Ok lang din.. nakayanan ko naman kahit na super lubak na ng pinagdaanan ko. Salamat at may Diyos.
Ang dami ko sanang gustong isulat.. ang dami ko gustong ikwento.. pero parang masyado akong lutang ngayun. I don’t know how to express my feelings at this point. Hindi kasi naging mailap ang sakin ang maayos na kapalaran sa Dubai.. mabilis ako nakahanap ng maayos na work, di ko naranasan magexit, di ko naranasan maghanap ng part-time job.. sakto lang.. sapat lang – ganun ako. Pero may mga ilang wrong move ako na ginawa kaya naging rocky-road ang buhay disyerto ko. Ok lang din.. nakayanan ko naman kahit na super lubak na ng pinagdaanan ko. Salamat at may Diyos.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Love.. in theory
NOTHING STRIVES INSIDE A BROKEN HEART. When the heart gets broken, it turns into a void, a black hole in your chest sucking everything in and eventually spitting it all out. It’s like filling a cracking glass of water. No matter how you try to fill it, water will just keep leaking out. At the end of the day, you’re still empty and hollow and thirsty for something that you think would satiate the need for happiness.
Emptiness compels people to immediately start the search for such things. They could be anything. And when they do find them, they instantly start stuffing themselves, forcing everything in, even those that their hearts don’t really need. Empty people are impatient people. They are so distracted by the pain. They can’t wait to get rid of it. Their minds are stuck on thinking how to purge the heart of such torment, conveniently forgetting the fact that anything kept inside a heart should not be forced—like love. You have to own the right heart to nurture such sublime entity. I can’t imagine offering my heart to someone, all torn and hideous. Can you?
When a heart gets broken, repairs should be made first. Bleeders should be cauterized. Patches should be placed to cover the holes. Cuts should be stitched closed. And then one should let it heal. The healing part takes time but it varies among people because every heart is unique and wounds vary in severity depending on the degree of damage, depth, and hurts one had taken hold. And there are a gazillion ways to break a heart but ironically, only a few to fix it (open heart surgeries excluded).
The healing process is very tricky. Let’s take broken relationships, for example. When one says he had already moved on, there’s a great probability that it’s actually the opposite. The moment one thinks that his feet stands on the grounds of acceptance, that is when he usually finds himself chewing on the first seeds of grief—denial.
The damaged heart deals with a lot of questions, focusing mainly on the experience of pain. Some say the pain doesn’t really go away. You just learn how to live with it eventually. But a healing heart juggles more complex questions. Fear, doubt, frustrations, and phantom hurts swarm the heart forcing it to shut down—a coping mechanism. The heart is strong but it is also as fragile as it is vital.
When can one say his heart is completely healed? There are no infallible ways to know for sure just like discerning the exact point in time when a heart starts to love. In the end it’s still a risk, a gamble. But with a heart intact, filled with the right things, and a love true and inspiring, it’s definitely a risk worth taking.
http://roneilberania.blogspot.com/2009/12/lovein-theory.html
* thank you for allowing me to re-post this wonderful entry.
Emptiness compels people to immediately start the search for such things. They could be anything. And when they do find them, they instantly start stuffing themselves, forcing everything in, even those that their hearts don’t really need. Empty people are impatient people. They are so distracted by the pain. They can’t wait to get rid of it. Their minds are stuck on thinking how to purge the heart of such torment, conveniently forgetting the fact that anything kept inside a heart should not be forced—like love. You have to own the right heart to nurture such sublime entity. I can’t imagine offering my heart to someone, all torn and hideous. Can you?
When a heart gets broken, repairs should be made first. Bleeders should be cauterized. Patches should be placed to cover the holes. Cuts should be stitched closed. And then one should let it heal. The healing part takes time but it varies among people because every heart is unique and wounds vary in severity depending on the degree of damage, depth, and hurts one had taken hold. And there are a gazillion ways to break a heart but ironically, only a few to fix it (open heart surgeries excluded).
The healing process is very tricky. Let’s take broken relationships, for example. When one says he had already moved on, there’s a great probability that it’s actually the opposite. The moment one thinks that his feet stands on the grounds of acceptance, that is when he usually finds himself chewing on the first seeds of grief—denial.
The damaged heart deals with a lot of questions, focusing mainly on the experience of pain. Some say the pain doesn’t really go away. You just learn how to live with it eventually. But a healing heart juggles more complex questions. Fear, doubt, frustrations, and phantom hurts swarm the heart forcing it to shut down—a coping mechanism. The heart is strong but it is also as fragile as it is vital.
When can one say his heart is completely healed? There are no infallible ways to know for sure just like discerning the exact point in time when a heart starts to love. In the end it’s still a risk, a gamble. But with a heart intact, filled with the right things, and a love true and inspiring, it’s definitely a risk worth taking.
http://roneilberania.blogspot.com/2009/12/lovein-theory.html
* thank you for allowing me to re-post this wonderful entry.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
happy new year!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce”
Sunday, December 27, 2009
i need space
parang mga bata lang..
i told him "i need space"
nakakatawa.. at natatawa sya.
yung totoo?? yes.. i guess i need time to be alone fo a while.
no chat.. no email.. no calls.. no txt.
parang kelangan ko i-rehabilitate ang sarili ko.
i need to delve deeper what's seems so wrong..
hindi nman ako ganito eh...
mahaba ang psensya ko.. hindi rin nman ako matampuhin.
but these days.. sobrang bilis ng temper ko..
..pero kay allan lang..
sa knya lang.
i don't know why.. para kong naglilihi na naman ulit.
i don't know.. naiisip ko tuloy yung 90/10 principle.. di ko na ma-apply.
di nman ako happy sa mga pagtatalo na walang katuturan.
mga pagtatampong walang sense..
i don't know why im doin this to myself.. to us.
im crazy.
crazy!
i told him "i need space"
nakakatawa.. at natatawa sya.
yung totoo?? yes.. i guess i need time to be alone fo a while.
no chat.. no email.. no calls.. no txt.
parang kelangan ko i-rehabilitate ang sarili ko.
i need to delve deeper what's seems so wrong..
hindi nman ako ganito eh...
mahaba ang psensya ko.. hindi rin nman ako matampuhin.
but these days.. sobrang bilis ng temper ko..
..pero kay allan lang..
sa knya lang.
i don't know why.. para kong naglilihi na naman ulit.
i don't know.. naiisip ko tuloy yung 90/10 principle.. di ko na ma-apply.
di nman ako happy sa mga pagtatalo na walang katuturan.
mga pagtatampong walang sense..
i don't know why im doin this to myself.. to us.
im crazy.
crazy!
isa pa!
User: I hate you.
Cleverbot: You love me.
User: I don't love you..
Cleverbot: You don't?
User: Right..
Cleverbot: Now you're just annoying!
User: Me??? Why??
Cleverbot: Because we are his children and he created us.
User: I know..
Cleverbot: So keep talking.
User: So how are you?
Cleverbot: I'm great, thank you. How're you?
User: Im good, thank you. Had lunch?
Cleverbot: I'm very good thanks for asking !
User: What you had for lunch?
Cleverbot: Sausage sandwich then i'm guessing?
User: Hhhmmm... Im starving.
Cleverbot: I have brown hair and green eyes.
User: Hahaha.. I wanna eat you!
Cleverbot: Please let us talk for a while first.
User: Ok..im not going.
Cleverbot: Going where?
User: Im not going anywhere.
Cleverbot: What does zugzwang mean?
User: Zugzwang??? I don't know.. Try to google it.
Cleverbot: Have it your way.
User: Do it..
Cleverbot: Now I'm not going to do it.
User: Ok..fine.
Cleverbot: You're hurting me.
User: Im not hurting you..
Cleverbot: Yes, you are!
User: Are you mad??
Cleverbot: No.
User: Good!
Cleverbot: Don't you like round objects?
User: Hhmm I long long objects!
Cleverbot: Eat what.
User: Huh??
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: Secret.. Who are you?
Cleverbot: I just asked you.
User: I answered you..
Cleverbot: He answered you.
User: He?? Who's he??
Cleverbot: Nobody you know.
User: Yeah.. Right.. You like me, don't you?
Cleverbot: Of course. You complete me.
User: That is so sweet..
Cleverbot: So are you *smiles*.
User: Why you like me?
Cleverbot: Because you're clever.
User: You are clever, not me..
Cleverbot: Am I cleverbot?
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: This can't be. I AM BATMAN!
User: Really???? But you are cleverbot!
Cleverbot: I'm not! You are!
User: I'm not!! You are!!
Cleverbot: Do you remember me?
User: Of course..
Cleverbot: Is that a yes?
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: OK THEN!!!
User: So what do you want to talk about?
Cleverbot: Politics, theology you pick.
User: I hate politics!
Cleverbot: What do you like?
User: Love..
Cleverbot: Do you know the chinese?
User: Yes, why? Are you chinese?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Are you japanese?
Cleverbot: No, you?
User: No, are you asian?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Malaysian?
Cleverbot: Why do you speak Malaysian?
User: No.. I speak tagalog.
Cleverbot: You speak french...
User: No.. You speak french??
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Samplel pls..
Cleverbot: Yes they are very awesome.
User: Who??
Cleverbot: Ask them.
User: Im asking you..
Cleverbot: Ask your questions!
User: What???
Cleverbot: You know adding more than one question mark does not add any emphasis to your question.
User: Can you translate in tagalog??
Cleverbot: Sure, why not.
User: Then translate!
Cleverbot: I guess I don't speak your language.
User: Talaga??
Cleverbot: Oo.
User: Masaya ka ba??
Cleverbot: Hindi bakit ako magiging masaya????
User: Dapat masaya ka kasi kakatapos lang ng pasko!
Cleverbot: Yeah sure.
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