mushy line i can't forget..

"I guarantee that we'll have tough time; Iguarantee that in some point, one of us would want to get out; I alsoguarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret this for therest of my life, 'coz I know in my heart...you're the only one for me."

when u asked me to marry u, at first I thought it was one hell of a joke. But when u seriously said that u really wanna marry me – I said yes without second thoughts. hindi na ko nag-isip pa ng kung anu anong bagay…believe it or not tinanong ko lang sarili ko kung kaya ko bang wala ka..

just like that mushy lines.. I know marami pa tayong pagdadaan.. sobrang dami pa.. marami pang tampuhang darating, away, jinart moments, selosan, at kung anu ano pa..

one thing for sure, I’ll stick with u ‘till the end.. even if u no longer want me to stay. I will embrace u and kiss u the way u always want me to.. sinabi ko na sau before – leaving u is suicidal and I won’t do that… not now and not tomorrow..

when is it really over

sa pangangalikot ko ng net nabasa ko to.. at nakakatuwa nmang basahin..


This is one of the mornings after another sleepless night that I
cannot help not ask myself, why didn't I have a good night sleep again? Then
Iwould just joke myself and answer it with, maybe someone's been
thinking of me all night....hahaha!

Jokes are always half-meant, a friend said once. And maybe...just
maybe, behind that joke, there's this wishful thinking that someone has
really been thinking of me. Then the memory of someone from the past
would, again, bounce in my head...disturb my sanity and make my day
half-miserable.

What if he's thinking about me? What if he still loves me? It's
just another imagination, I know. Another day of what if's and maybe's.

For the nth time, I've told myself that when it's over, it's really over!
There's no sense turning back or even trying to pick up the pieces
again. It's time to move on and face the reality!

When it's over, is it really over? When you decide to let go, do you
really succeed in letting go? I just heard the latest song of Sugar
Ray a while ago. Here's the few lines that caught my attention:

When it's over, That's the time I fall in love again... When it's
over, That's the time you're in my heart again...

How can you possibly say it's over when you're still in love with the
person you said you were over with already? I guess it's not that
easy when the chain of the past locks you in the chest of false hopes and
leads you to a place called fantasy with Cinderella and Snow White as your
best friends! The three of you would gather on the hilltop and after a
while three young drop-dead gorgeous princes would come riding on their
horses to join the picnic under a tree.

How pathetic! But, admit it or not, it's true... The hardest part of
losing a loved one is to accept the fact that they're gone and might
never come back again. There are things that will always remind you of your
togetherness...the places you've been, his or her favorite food you
used to cook for him or her, expressions you used to hear ; from him or her
and songs you've both loved to sing.

These are the memories that'd linger on your mind from time to time.
Because you were both in love before (or so you think), it makes
you hope for another chance. You begin to believe on what others said
that love is lovelier the second time around and the line from Ally
McBeal, "whoever said that 'plenty of fish in the sea' thing is lying.
Sometimes, there's only one...trust me."

We would desperately believe that what happens in the movies might also
happen to us one day. Who didn't like the lines from the movie "Runaway Bride" where Julia
Roberts told Richard Gere, "I guarantee that we'll have tough time; I
guarantee that in some point, one of us would want to get out; I also
guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret this for the
rest of my life, 'coz I know in my heart...you're the only one for me."

We tend to think that the person who left us will come back one day
and say those words, or just simple words but would promise forever.
Problems may occur every now and then, but we would consider those
things as trials to be conquered in order for the relationship to bloom and
mature.

Oouucchh! Reality just bit me!

More often than not, these romantic movies and mushy love songs only
make us long for something we cannot have...and for someone who cannot be
ours again. It hurts to admit that we are just pretending. All the while,
we already knew the truth but we ignore it. When the damage is done,
there's nothing left to do but cry...to mourn for the bitterness in our hearts.
Then curse anybody who gets in the way.

I'm scared!!!

As long as we still hold on to the past, the chance of meeting someone
new may be a bit far off the field.

The fear of trusting and falling in love again may also hinder us to
grow and move on. We are hesitant to take the risk, afraid that we may
get hurt again. Because of the negative thoughts stocked in our brains,
we refuse to go out from our self-made world and deprive ourselves from new
opportunities, whether in love affairs or career wise.

Let's face it! Betrayal can be anywhere and anyone can be a victim.
The worst part is when the one we truly, madly and deeply love is the one who
will betray us in the end. Then we are left with nothing but a broken
heart and wounded pride. Sad... but true.

Reality check please...

It can happen to anyone but we shouldn't just take things as it
comes. An action must be done. We should take care of ourselves from the
hungry wolves in the jungle. It's just a matter of survival. Stand up when
you fall. It's okay to cry as hard and as long as you want to, just make
sure that when you stop crying, you won't cry for the same reason
anymore.

Learn and live. Love is the most wonderful thing one can offer, so be
smart enough to give the love in your heart to the one who really
deserves.

- mac

one of the best...

Can’t help to smile here at work.. iniisip ko kung gano kasaya ang aming “gabi” kagabi..

So simple and ordinary.. yet so special. That night was one of the best! Pagkagaling ng office makulit na mukha ni mister ang nakabungad sayo.. kulitan at kilitian ng walang humpay… haha.. ang lufet…(sana pwede ikwento ang ginagawa nya while i was so busy sa pangangalikot ng laptop..J ) Nang napagod… nagutom at kumain ng dinner.. sa iisang plato parang mga batang nagkakamay at nagaagawan ng fried chicken – at kiss & walang humpay n luv u in between. Then, naghugas ako ng plato at kinuha nya ang sinampay… ( hindi makapalag!)

… at niyaya ako bigla na magdate sa fav naming ice cream parlor – baskin and robbins. I was waiting outside at pinagmamasdan ang Dubai, ang mga tao sa paligid.. ang mga kabayan na kumakain din ng ice cream...and then he came with a big smile on his face.. hhhmm may tinatago… he surprised me with my fav banana split! J Luv it! Nagpaabot kami ng 11:30 sa kalye.. eating ice cream.. nagkwentuhan, nagasaran, nagkulitan..

Pag-uwi sa bahay.. alam nyo na kung anong ending.. J

Sarap ng may mister.. at maging misis nya..

i can feel u..

I can feel your sadness.. I know there are times you feel like you’re alone and no one to turn to – while the truth is I’m just right beside you. .. And it hurts me more. Seeing you crying makes me wonder why you’re here.. and it’s tearin me apart. Nalulungkot ako sa kalungkutan mo..

Sana hindi ka na lang malungkot kasi mas malungkot ako –( times 2 ng nararamdaman mu). Siguro kasi sobra kitang Mahal..There are times that I cry everytime maiisip ko na hndi nman kita napapasaya.. and it hurts to think so hard at wala ka na maisip kung pano kita pasasayahin.. am I worthy of ur luv?! Stupid question – and I don’t want you to answer.. nakaktakot..

Feeling ko kulang na kulang lahat..

Kulang ako.. at kulang pa..

"your husband's life partner..."

I saw this in multiply “ your husband’s life partner?” .. weird.. what if you are not really your husband’s life partner? Napaisip lang ako.. is being a wife means you are his life partner? Pano pala kung hindi?! What if there’s someone else? What if deep within his heart – written is someone else’s name as his life partner? ....

So ano ba difference ng "life partner" at ng pagiging asawa? And If u are his wife – hanggang kelan naman?

Well, ako wala na ko pakels jan sa “your husband’s life partner” sa multiply.. what is the most important thing is the fact that I’m his wife and I know I am his only one partner in life.. at alam ko rin kung hanggang kelan...

- not just for now..
- not just for today
- not just for tomorrow
- not just for this year
- not just for the coming years..

I’ll be his life partner until after the moment God takes my breath away..

tampisaw

First time namin magtampisaw sa dagat. sinimulan namin ng dapithapon hanggang sa lumabas na ang buwan.. ayun.. nangatog kami sa lamig! hhaha c mister nagdala ng digi cam na walang bat.. hhayyzz boy scout talga! :)

bitterness..

"There must really be something terribly wrong with the present that we want to go back to the past."

But why? Why we want to go back when we are the one who choose to leave? In the end how sad to realized na tinakasan lang pala natin kung ano yung magpapasaya satin. And now, because we feel so down and alone we urge for the happiness that once we had. Too bad it’s too late. No matter how hard we try we can never be a part of that happiness again.. and we are left with nothing but only memories. That’s life.. we will never know what we have until we lost it. And when someone else keeps what we had thrown away.. we begin to feel that we’re longing for it - until we find our self wanting to bring it back again.

Longing....wanting.. needing.. wishing… hanggang dun na lang..

_inarts_

Deeply hurt

This is one of the worst morning ever..nagising ng umiiyak - lecheng panaginip yan, namamaga ang mata, pinilit pumasok sa work kahit na inaatake na naman ako ng katam, naglakad papasok ng nag-iisip at naiiyak…salamat sa shades!

Kung bakit.. di ko alam. Normal ba un? Yung tipong naiiyak ka pero ewan kung ba’t ka naiiyak.. hhayyyzzz..

Am I too sensitive? Alam ko hindi ako ganun.. hindi ako ganun kadaling mahurt.. amf! Bago talga tong feeling na to.. ganito pala talga. Hindi naman ako ganito kajinarts before.. normally sa mga ganitong pagkakataon umaapaw sakin ang “wa pakels” attitude.. pero ngayun?! Goodluck sa feelings na madaling maginarts. Nagiinarts lang ba ‘ko o nahuhurt naman talga ako? There are times na feeling ko kasi mas priniprotektahan pa nya yung feelings ng iba kesa sa feelings ko.. masaktan na ko wag lang sya? Salamat sa multiply at naeexperience ko ‘tong sakit na ‘to. Ba’t ganun? Imagination ko lang ba yun? Minsan hindi ko talga naiintindihan na pag naiisip ko namumuo na lang ‘tong luha ko. Syet kainis.. I’m not supposed to feel this way pero yun talaga nararamdaman ko eh. hope naiintindhan nya na nasasaktan din ako..

This is no good.. sana mawala na 'to sa sistema ko ASAP!L

Dance of Life

There were two hearts who met in a dance. That moment was magical, there was a sweet song playing, there was harmony. And soon love in the air. They fell in love and they started building castles in their dreams. And promised forever with all certainty.

But somewhere in the midst of the fun, they got lost in the dance. Something went wrong, but they can never do anything. They were just drifting away, their fortress falling apart. There were so many questions but no one had an answer. Then the music stopped, then there was silence.

When we truly love someone we give our best and let that person see the pureness of our intentions. But sometimes that person makes us cry and hurts us for the wrong reasons. That someone must have loved us but he has not loved us enough to make him stand for what he truly felt.

Now, we are faced with the seemingly impossible task of forgetting. We have burdened ourselves long enough. But we still can’t get out from this emotional trap. Let us remember that the more we try to forget someone we love the more painful letting go will become.

Sometimes we never have to take that person out in our hearts at all, for he will always be there no matter how hard we try to drive him away. It isn’t his presence that made this difficult but it is our stubbornness to accept our destiny that aligns forgetting is next to impossible.

We keep a cold face but deep in our hearts there still that lingering hope for a reconciliation. Somehow, we still believe that we can rekindle small embers and relight the fire that once burned in our hearts. This thought gives us hope but it also breeds the seeds of loneliness and despair.

The only way to forget is to accept and the only way to move on is to look ahead and let the footprints of the past be blown by the wind of time. Only then can our hearts find a partner in the dance of life and hopefully never get lost again.