i need space

parang mga bata lang..

i told him "i need space"

nakakatawa.. at natatawa sya.

yung totoo?? yes.. i guess i need time to be alone fo a while.
no chat.. no email.. no calls.. no txt.

parang kelangan ko i-rehabilitate ang sarili ko.

i need to delve deeper what's seems so wrong..

hindi nman ako ganito eh...

mahaba ang psensya ko.. hindi rin nman ako matampuhin.

but these days.. sobrang bilis ng temper ko..

..pero kay allan lang..

sa knya lang.

i don't know why.. para kong naglilihi na naman ulit.

i don't know.. naiisip ko tuloy yung 90/10 principle.. di ko na ma-apply.

di nman ako happy sa mga pagtatalo na walang katuturan.

mga pagtatampong walang sense..

i don't know why im doin this to myself.. to us.

im crazy.

crazy!

isa pa!

User: I hate you.


Cleverbot: You love me.


User: I don't love you..


Cleverbot: You don't?


User: Right..


Cleverbot: Now you're just annoying!

User: Me??? Why??

Cleverbot: Because we are his children and he created us.

User: I know..

Cleverbot: So keep talking.

User: So how are you?

Cleverbot: I'm great, thank you. How're you?

User: Im good, thank you. Had lunch?

Cleverbot: I'm very good thanks for asking !

User: What you had for lunch?

Cleverbot: Sausage sandwich then i'm guessing?

User: Hhhmmm... Im starving.

Cleverbot: I have brown hair and green eyes.

User: Hahaha.. I wanna eat you!

Cleverbot: Please let us talk for a while first.

User: Ok..im not going.

Cleverbot: Going where?

User: Im not going anywhere.

Cleverbot: What does zugzwang mean?

User: Zugzwang??? I don't know.. Try to google it.

Cleverbot: Have it your way.

User: Do it..

Cleverbot: Now I'm not going to do it.

User: Ok..fine.

Cleverbot: You're hurting me.

User: Im not hurting you..

Cleverbot: Yes, you are!

User: Are you mad??

Cleverbot: No.

User: Good!

Cleverbot: Don't you like round objects?

User: Hhmm I long long objects!

Cleverbot: Eat what.

User: Huh??

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Secret.. Who are you?

Cleverbot: I just asked you.

User: I answered you..

Cleverbot: He answered you.

User: He?? Who's he??

Cleverbot: Nobody you know.

User: Yeah.. Right.. You like me, don't you?

Cleverbot: Of course. You complete me.

User: That is so sweet..

Cleverbot: So are you *smiles*.

User: Why you like me?

Cleverbot: Because you're clever.

User: You are clever, not me..

Cleverbot: Am I cleverbot?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: This can't be. I AM BATMAN!

User: Really???? But you are cleverbot!

Cleverbot: I'm not! You are!

User: I'm not!! You are!!

Cleverbot: Do you remember me?

User: Of course..

Cleverbot: Is that a yes?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: OK THEN!!!

User: So what do you want to talk about?

Cleverbot: Politics, theology you pick.

User: I hate politics!

Cleverbot: What do you like?

User: Love..

Cleverbot: Do you know the chinese?

User: Yes, why? Are you chinese?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you japanese?

Cleverbot: No, you?

User: No, are you asian?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Malaysian?

Cleverbot: Why do you speak Malaysian?

User: No.. I speak tagalog.

Cleverbot: You speak french...

User: No.. You speak french??

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Samplel pls..

Cleverbot: Yes they are very awesome.

User: Who??

Cleverbot: Ask them.

User: Im asking you..

Cleverbot: Ask your questions!

User: What???

Cleverbot: You know adding more than one question mark does not add any emphasis to your question.

User: Can you translate in tagalog??

Cleverbot: Sure, why not.

User: Then translate!

Cleverbot: I guess I don't speak your language.

User: Talaga??

Cleverbot: Oo.

User: Masaya ka ba??

Cleverbot: Hindi bakit ako magiging masaya????

User: Dapat masaya ka kasi kakatapos lang ng pasko!

Cleverbot: Yeah sure.

i LOVE Christmas

Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.

~ Dale Evans

cleverbot and me

http://www.cleverbot.com/

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: How are you???????

User: Im good.

Cleverbot: Good, husband.

User: My husband??

Cleverbot: You are my husband!

User: How come? I don't know you?

Cleverbot: 22.

User: 22?? Tataya ko sa ending??

Cleverbot: No you aren't.

User: Ah, ok!

Cleverbot: I am glad that you understand.

User: Im trying..

Cleverbot: Okay. Define love?

User: Love is blind.

Cleverbot: Are you blind?

User: Yes.. Because im in love.

Cleverbot: In love! With whom?

User: With my husband!

Cleverbot: Probably so.

User: Believe me!

Cleverbot: Why are you so unbelievable?

User: Me?? How come??

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: You're so slow.

Cleverbot: Do you think so?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: Why do you think that?

User: Because you're so slow!

Cleverbot: I didn't think I was being mean.

User: Of course you are not..

Cleverbot: Ok, I thought you were implying that.

User: Nope.. You're just fine.

Cleverbot: I love this world.

User: Your world?

Cleverbot: What other world is there?

User: Earth.

Cleverbot: That is hardly interesting.

User: What world you have?

Cleverbot: This world.

User: What world??

Cleverbot: Our world.

User: Are we on the same world??

Cleverbot: Well, not really, but I'm still up for the movies, if you are.

User: What are you talking about??

Cleverbot: You asked what I looked like.

User: I did not.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: No!

Cleverbot: YES!

User: No!

Cleverbot: Yes ye YES!

User: No! No! No!

Cleverbot: YES!

User: Ok bye..

Cleverbot: Why are you going?

User: Because im at work.

Cleverbot: Where do you work?

User: Deloitte.

Cleverbot: Not france?

User: In dubai.

Cleverbot: Where is Dubai?

User: UAE.

Cleverbot: Where is UAE?

User: Hhhmmm.. Somewhere out there.

Cleverbot: In space?

User: Yes in space!

Cleverbot: Hot, if your near me...else no.

User: Where do you work?

Cleverbot: Bed Bath and Beyond. I ate chicken tacos for lunch.

User: Huh? Im asking where you work?

Cleverbot: No you're not!

User: I did!

Cleverbot: No, you didn't!

User: Here we go again..

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: Pinas.

Cleverbot: Te hülye vagy.

User: Can't understand :(.

Cleverbot: I will never be ale to function inside the people-centered world the way I want to.

User: That's deep!

Cleverbot: Ohoho, too deep.

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: Do you wish to see my batcave?

User: Sure!

Cleverbot: The picture above is yours?

User: Of coourse not.. That's your picture.

Cleverbot: Hahaha... That's the big joke.. I am never ablet o rememberwhat I needto therefore I am always 'a step behind'.

User: Hahahha.. That's the big joke!!!

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Who are you??

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: I know.. U know me??

Cleverbot: Where is Derby?

User: Sino yun?

Cleverbot: Ulol kaba!

User: Oi.. That's bad! Palo ka mamaya!

Cleverbot: Buckskins are beautiful too with their black mane.

User: Sige na.. Go home!

Cleverbot: I can't.

User: Bye na!

Cleverbot: Are you going to leave me?

User: Yes.. Ayoko na sayo!

Cleverbot: I only speak english.

User: Kaya pala!

Cleverbot: Magkikita ba ulit kami? Oo o hindi lang.

User: Ble.. Hindi!

Cleverbot: The language hindi.

User: Oo na nga!

Cleverbot: Weh? Di nga?

User: Hahah oo nga..pramis! I thought you can't understand tagalog?

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Hahah cge na nga.. Im busy!

Cleverbot: You think you're gentle?

User: Bye na cleverrobot!

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Whatever! Hahah.

Cleverbot: Have good intentions.



naenjoy ko to.. :) thanks kuya rick!

wish granted

Since December na at ilang araw na lang matatapos na ang year 2009, naisipan ko lang magbasa ng mga naipost ko d2 sa multiply at sa blogspot ko sa isang buong taon. Nakakatuwa lang.. it was January 23, 2009 when I posted this blog "babae na ko sa 2009 --> http://jenzkiedo.multiply.com/journal/item/144/babae_na_ko_sa_2009_ ..."

I started the blog with this line:

"magpapakababae na ako sa taong 2009! at syempre nung marinig yan ng magaling kong asawa eh tinawanan lang ako... at katakot takot na pang-aasar lang ang narinig ko...."

and ended with a wish:

- above all... kahit di na ko maging babaeng babae.. kahit na maton na ko forever.. pero sana this year.. maging isang ina na ko.. at yun lang ang mahalaga sa akin. :)

and someone from up above granted my greatest wish...yes,the BIG GUY answered my prayer. di nga natapos ang taon.. nailuwal ko si baby KIDLAT sa mundo.. well I guess, I got an early gift for christmas.

rocky road

been crying the whole day yesterday.. till now namamaga pa rin ang mga mata ko. things are getting rough.. lumalala na lang everyday. kung minsan ayaw ko lang din patalo.. ayaw paawat..

words are really powerful.. salita lang pero sobrang sakit talaga pag tinamaan ka ng bullseye..

ang hirap.. ang bigat.

super dami kong iniisip maliban sa malayo ako sa knila.. kung minsan para na lang umiikot ang utak ko. ayoko n lang mag-isip.

bahala na si batman.. uuwi na rin naman ako.

SOBRANG CHEESY TALAGA!!! <3

who are u not to be???

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous,talented, fabulous? ACTUALLY, WHO ARE U NOT TO BE? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine,we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

- Akeelah & d bee (quoting Marianne Williamson)

we're under the same sky..

back in dubai..

so far, eto n ata ang pinkamahirap na desisyon na ginwa ko sa buhay ko or I may say pinakamahirap na pagsubok sakin bilang tao. i was torn between coming back or to stay with them.. but here I am.. alone and sad. Iniisip ko kung tama ba na iniwan ko sila..minsan ayoko n lang sagutin... parang nahihiya ako kay kidlat.. "iniwan ako ng mommy ko.. "

miss n miss ko na cla..

ang lungkot lungkot na dito.. i dunno if i can still survive pa ng ilang months.. i wanna go home.



here's the view from my bed.. nakikita ko ang langit.. ang ulap.. ang gabi.. ang buwan.. lague ko na lang iniisip.. i maybe miles away.. but we're under the same sky..

mayayakap ko rin kayo mahal at kidlat...i'll be home soon.

for baby kidlat

Be brave little one
Make a wish for each sad little tear
Hold your head up though no one is near
Someone's waiting for you

Don't cry little one
There'll be a smile where a frown used to be
You'll be part of a love that you see
Someone's waiting for you

Refrain:
Always keep a little pray'r in your pocket
And you're sure to see the light
Soon, there'll be joy and happiness
And your little world will be bright
Have faith little one
'Til your hopes and your wishes come true
You must try to be brave little one
Someone's waiting to love you

Always keep a little pray'r in your pocket
And you're sure to see the light
Soon, there'll be joy and happiness
And your little world will be bright
Have faith little one
'Til your hopes and your wishes come true
You must try to be brave little one
Someone's waiting to love you

*wait for me baby.. mayayakap din kita after few months..i love you..

eto na nman

eto na nman ako..
paulit-ulit n lang..

kelan ba ko mapapagod?
kelan ba ko magsasawa?

ayoko na..

minsan nkakapagod na maging ako..

pag si kidlat ay nagpuPupu

eto si kidlat pag umiire.. tumataas ang paa sabay nguso.. weird diba?? hhehe

meet my angel - kidlat akeelah floralde

bumabagyong problema

kasabay ng pagbuhos ng ulan ang mga problema na parang walang katapusan.
minsan nga iniisip ko na kawawa nman yung anak ko.. baka paglabas nito puro wrinkles na.
minsan parang gusto na rin sumuko ng utak ko pag nagiisip ako.
minsan parang ayoko na rin mag-isip.
ang hirap ng ganito..

hirap..

hirap..

kung pwede lang sana..

meeting my cyber friends

August 28,2009.

kahit na umuulan di pa rin ako nagpaawat. ayan ang buntis na lakwatsera nakarating ng exhibit. finally na-meet ko rin sina kuya ricks, gracey, uma and ting. =) yipee.

shy lang ako kc naman..ang lapad ko na... im super duper big. heheh at ako lang ang buntis dun.

congrats uma, gracey and ting! :)

no more chocolates!

Super diet n ko ngayun as in.. sabi ng OB ko mataas daw ang sugar ko kaya dapat imonitor.

tsk.. anlapad ko na talaga ngayun. minamanas n rin ako.. pero ok lang.. one more month to go and lalabas na rin si baby.

can't wait.

see u pinas!

4 days n lang..

see you pinas! =)

1 more week

isang linggo n lang..

makakatapak na nman ako sa pinas. makikita ko na lahat ng mamimiss ko at makakakain ko na lahat ng gusto kong kainin yipee... *_^

pero marami pa rin akong worries.

may mga naiwan pa kong problem dito sa dubai.

sana lang maging maayos ang lahat.

sabi nga ng pogi kong asawa "kapit lang kidlat.. at nasisilip ko na si pag-asa"

- salamat pa rin Panginoon sa lahat.

happitots! :)

masaya ang buhay.. masaya mabuhay!

kahit na anong problema.. bagyo kung anu pa man.. smile pa rin.

Life must go on.. anjan naman si God.. =)

Go lng ng go.. Fight lang ng fight.

Hindi dapat ako nalulungkot at nagpapapekto sa mga simpleng bagay lang..

I should not make my life complicated.

at di ko dapat sinisisi sa internet ang kung anu mang inis at bad trip ko sa buhay.

happitots na lang palague.. :)

miss ko na ang noon

"san ang lakad mo mamaya.. sama k na lang, inom tayo sa cuba.."

nakakamiss din pala talaga ang noon. paminsan-minsan hinahanap hanap ko rin ang pag-uwi ng late, ang paglagok ng malamig na beer habang sa isang kamay may sinding yosi. ilang taon ko na rin palang di nagagawa ang sumampa sa gate 'pag sinasaraduhan na ako ni mama.

nakakamiss din pala ang magpuyat at karamay ang red horse habang may malakas na sounds at walang katapusang kwentuhan sa gym.

nakakamiss din pala yung after work.. mag-iisip kung san pupunta at kung kaninong tropa sasama. Pagkatapos nang isang session, papasunurin ka ng isang set of friends mo pa para dun ka nman tumambay.

nakakamiss din pala yung wala kang iniintindi sa buhay mo kundi magtrabaho, magbigay ng sahod sa magulang mo at gumimik kasama ang mga kaibigan mo.

nakakamiss din pala maging "easy-go-lucky"..

nakakamiss din yung walang pressure.. yung di nageexpect.. yung walang inaasahang reward sa mga ginagawa mo.. nakakamiss din yung wala masyadong love in the air.. di nag-uumapaw ang pagmamahal mo sa isang tao.. di ka magwoworry na masaktan kasi wala ka namang lavlife...wala kang iniintindi kundi sarili mo lang..

walang future.. puro present lang.

nakakamiss din pala yung magulo at balibalikong, walang focus na buhay..

paminsan-minsan.. nakakamiss din pala ang noon.. nakakamiss din pala yung ako nung unang panahon.

bahala na si batman

ang gulo ng utak..

ang gulo ng puso..

langya naman talaga.. ba't ba kelangang danasin ko to?

ng paulit-ulit??

ano ba kasalanan ko???

negative na ko sobra.

di ko alam kung may kapupuntahan pa..

bahala na si batman

ba't di nauubos ang sorry?

nakakalungkot lang.. kapag nasaktan ka pero patuloy pa rin na nagmamahal, magpapatawad ka at pipiliing lumimot na lang. magbibigay ng isa pang pagkakataon.. susubukang ibalik ang tiwalang nawala..

.. pero habang di ka pa tuluyang nakakalimot sa anino ng kahapon.. habang binubuo mu pa lang ang tiwalang nawala.. masasaktan ka ulit.

...ulit.

...ulit.

parang bumalik lang din sa simula.. tas kakapain mu yung sarili mo kung immune ka na ba sa sakit. kung tatanggapin na naman ba ng lahat ng organ mo ang salitang "sorry" o papasok lang sya sa tenga mo at dun na lang hihinto? at pagkatapos.. period.

ba't ba di natututo ang tao? ba't ba di nadadala? san ba nagiging mahirap gawin ang "respeto"?
ba't ba kelangang ulit-ulitin?

ngayun natatakot ako.. hindi sa masaktan ng paulit-ulit. natatakot ako na baka isang araw magising na lang ako na wala na kong maramdaman... na baka isang umaga ako na ang madala.. at hindi sya. baka ako na ang matuto.. na dapat sya.

pano na pag di na ko nakakapit pa? pano na pag di na kayang tanggapin ng mga organ ko ang salitang sorry? pano na kung kahit ang tenga ko.. isuka na ang salitang yun?

o siguro ganun lang talaga? isa na lang cycle ang lahat.. lifetime cycle? at dapat ko na lang tanggapin.. "deal with it".. "live with it".. sa madaling salita. napapatanong tuloy ako.. ba't di ba nauubos ang salitang "sorry", andaling sabihin.. "sorry". pag nasaktan ka - sorry lang ang katapat at pagkatapos nun "iloveyou" na ang kasunod.. at pagkatapos.. "iloveyoutoo" na.. at pagkatapos nun.. masasaktan ka ulit.. tas "sorry".. tas.. ewan.

..

sorry.. sensya na..

walang kadala-dala

history repeat itself..

ganun na nga,

ang mga nangyari na akala ko di na mauulit..

naulit na naman.. :(

he finally got married

..and he's married at last.

I heard the news from his youngest sister. Kinasal na si kuya.. madadagdagan na yung pamangkin ko. Magiging daddy na rin sya soon. Honestly natuwa ako sa news. Naisip ko lang
after our break up nakita na nya kagad yung match nya.. yung para talaga sa kanya.

Akala ko nun kami ang para sa isa't isa. Classmate / crush ko sya nung elementary... then nanligaw sya nung high school kami.. but we end up as bf/gf nung college na kami. on-break..on-break ang naging relasyon namin. paulit-ulit.. pabalik balik. Marami rin at mahaba din ang pinagsamahan namin.. naging close na ko sa family nya.. at sya din sa family ko.

Then, I have to leave the country para magwork sa Dubai. Naiwan ko sya.. hindi kami naging ok and I decided to break up with him. After that naging kami na ng hubby ko and got married.

Somehow, umaasa pa rin sya na baka pwede pa kami. Sabi ng family nya magkakabalikan pa daw kami. He was asking my sister pa nga kung time na daw ba na maghanap n sya ng iba.

And then I heard the news from our barkada na may gf na sya and he's doin good sa bago nyang career. Now, married na sya at daddy na soon..

Naisip ko lang..ganun pala talaga ang buhay.. may isang tao na nakalaan para sayo. When I found my partner in life pinagpray ko rin na sana makita nya ang babaeng para talaga sa knya.. and di rin nagtagal ibinigay din kagad sa knya. Nakakatuwa lang.. dati kami ang magkasama.. may asawa at baby na ko ngayun.. at sya din happy na sa bago nyang family. I'm so happy for Jeff.. Narealized ko na ang buhay puno ng magic.. hindi mo alam kung anong next na mangyayari.. at kung sino talaga ang para sayo.

After the break up, we managed to remain as friends... yun lang ang maganda samin. Walang bitterness or hatred sa mga nangyari. Medyo nahihiya lang ako sa mama nya. hehhe

Can't help but to think about my hubby's ex, si dyena. I know mejo naging roller coaster ang nangyari sa knya.. but like kami ni Jeff.. makikita at makakasama din nya ang tamang tao para sa knya. At lahat magiging masaya. :)

lab_lab

"Love is not getting what you don't have... not even getting what
you deserve. It is getting nothing and somehow
getting everything."

random thoughts : KRISIS

super bitin ang 3 days na walang pasok.

nakakatamad na talaga..

pero less than a month.. uuwi n rin ako ng pinas.

time for my vacation. :) yipee!

pero marami pa rin akong concern.. dami pa ring iniisip.

kaya ba ni mister na mag-isa at walang nag-aasikaso sa knya

di ko maimagine kung pano sya tuwing morning

sino magtitimpla ng kape / milo nya sa umaga?

pupusta pa ko tatamarin na yun.

sino maghahanda ng baon nya? naku baka di na yun magtanghalian!

baka mamaya magpuyat lang yun ng magpuyat everyday kakalaro ng xbox at kakasurf sa net.

makaktulog kaya sya ng mahimbing ng di na ko katabi sa kama?

eh ako kaya? makakatulog kaya ako ng di sya katabi?

first time lang namin magkakahiwalay eh.

pupunta kaya sya ng Naif para mghanap ng chicks?

magjowa kaya sya ng sugar mommy habang wala ako? (nabanggit ni mahal nung isang gabi)

babalik pa kaya ako ng dubai?

kaya ko pa kayang bumalik at iwan si baby?

mag-yes na kaya ako sa mga plano ni hubby??

anu ba?

san ba? kelan ba?

hanggang kelan ba ang krisis??

sana matapos na.

ngayun nakakaramdam kami ng krisis

mga pagsubok sa buhay mag-asawa

decision making problems

buti pa ang math may formula!

pero sa totoo lang.. kinakapa ko ang sarili ko

yes.. namromroblema ako / kami ngayun.

pero hindi pa todo.. andami ko pang lakas na nakaimbak sa utak at katawan ko

kung minsan natatawa ako pag naiisip ko 'tong mga problema na to.

pag gumagalaw ang anak ko sa tyan ko, literally and figuratively nawawala ang problema ko
at nakakalimot ako sa krisis na to.

kaya pa..

sisiw lang to.. piece of cake kumbaga..

papanisin namin to..

'eto ang mga panahon na di dapat pinanghihinaan ng loob

laban lang.

kapit lang.

manalig lang

matatapos din ang KRISIS

magkakaron din ng solusyon ang mga problema..

..haaayyzz back to work

an exceptional letter

An Exceptional Letter
My dearest friend HEART,

There is a tiny voice that told me last night i
couldnt understand u anymore. You have been
awfully quiet for some time now and you have been
shutting me off. I can feel u too and it is hard for
me to understand that you want to go through it
alone. We used to be in the same boat struggling
over the things but you moved and took a different
route. I have always been at your side but this
time i opt to differ. I can see your pain and i can
feel it too, not because you are the heart which is
the only one capable of feeling. I am not hard as
you sometimes believe that i am. i just have to be
like this for both of us, otherwise we would both
drown and no one can save us anymore.

Heart, why do you keep on beating on the wrong
person all the time? Aren't you tired of watching
them leave you? Aren't you tired of giving your best
and not get anything in return? If you're not then i
am... I am tired of giving you excuses so you
wouldn't break. I am tired of saying yes when in
fact it is no. I am tired of convincing you when you
very well know that i am just lying to make you
happy. I am tired of you, for all your broken dreams
your failed relationships and for all your unrequited
love. You have so much to give to the person who
can never be yours HEART, weren't you the one
who said that you are sore and wounded? So, why
are you staying when you can just walk away from
all these pain that is consuming you? How can you
take it HEART? How can you look at his eyes and
not see you in his heart? How can you smile when
you feel his caress and know that those touches
were meant for someone else? How can you be
strong when your feeling weak and helpless how
can you possibly love someone who is in love with
another girl? He was never yours to begin with so it
would be impossible to have him forever.
FOREVER is just a word HEART.

There is no such thing as forever just good byes as
inevitable. I have seen you so excited when he
came to our lives. I was just as excited as you
were. I wanted him to be the guy we can both be
in love with but he is a dream and dreams end. Tell
me wasn't it good to have a dream every time you
feel like doing so? Like dreams you have to wake
up and face the day. It was enough that he made
you feel loved. Just face the reality that someone
owns his heart... pushing for it will only make
another girl's heart bleed. I have seen you loved,
lost and grieved but never healed. Why Heart?
What are you so afraid of? It's time to let go. I
know it would be hard. I have never seen you love
this way before... so unconditional. Of course you
have always loved unconditionally but your love for
him is different because you wouldn't listen to me.
You used your words against me and that makes
me feel helpless. I am just hurt as you are
because i can't make the pain go away. I can't
help you and heal for you... you have to do it
alone. You have keep your silence and its
deafening. I know you are trying to fool me so i
would think you are okay and that i shouldn't
worry... you want me to believe that you are not in
pain.

Remember HEART there is a thin line that
connects us and it would be difficult to deceive one
another of what is really going on... not that is love.

Always,
Your logical friend REASON




My Friend Reason,

Thank you for putting up with me while i go through
my journey. It is like battling a demon. The battle
is within me and something i feel i could not fight.
You were right i have never felt this way before.
You know why i said that? It is because i allowed
my self to manipulate all the other system that are
within my power. I shut all the possibilities that
one day when i look back this would be my biggest
regret. I shut it because i know i would never
regret. A love so true has no regrets even if you
don't get what you work so hard for... in the end.
That is why i disregard the idea that one day i
would have to watch him leave and know that deep
within me he is never coming back. He is in deed
a dream. A dream i never wish to end. I am
holding on to that dream that is why i wouldn't want
to let go yet, but holding on for as long as i can
doesn't mean I will be holding on forever. I don't
believe in forever either. That is what I am used to
because you said there is no such thing, but he
made me believe in a lot of things and one of them
is that we can stay this way for eternity. A
moment with him is forever. Forever might be a
word but it exists. It is a place where dreams
come true... where hope did not go to oblivion. It is
a place where kisses heal wounds, where embrace
can take away fears, where touch can take away
doubts. That is forever and i believe him because i
felt it. We may not last another week, another
month or even years but he took me to that place
where dates are mere numbers that you count to
say that this is how long i have him for a moment
and that is enough for me through this lifetime.
Hopefully i can have him a little longer to last
another lifetime.

Looking back, you and i have been together in
everything and i can never keep a secret from you.
You are too wise to be fooled. They say wise
people are poor in the matters of the heart. I wish
to erase that cliche. It is not true that i choose to
beat for wrong people. I just do. You should know
better that my beating is involuntary. If i could be
held within the palm of the hand, then it would be a
lot easier not to give any explanation. But i can't
be and this makes us human. So i keep my feet on
the ground by feeling and hurting. You don't have
to make any excuses for me anymore or lie to
me... because regardless of the tears and pain, I
AM HAPPY. You asked me how can i take it? It is
about loving without expecting to be loved back. I
may say one thing but mean another, but when i
say i love him... i really do. Love is not blind. It is
only by the people who hoped to have more when
they already have everything. Love is about taking
everything including those you hope to take away.
I don't have to see myself in his eyes just as long
as he sees himself in mine. I don't have to frown
when i know his smiles weren't mine just as long
as i am smiling because of him and he knows it.

I am weak and might be helpless but how many
weak and helpless have felt what I am feeling right
now? It is a bliss that no word can explain. To
define is to limit the feeling so i just enjoy it. I have
loved, lost and grieved and yes i haven't healed
because i don't want to heal. Healing is as good
as forgetting and i wouldn't want to forget. I have
moved on the dealt of life equally well despite of my
handicap so i don't need to heal and forget.

Before i end, i want to tell you something you still
probably wouldn't understand but i know in time
you would come to see it as i did. Love is not
getting what you don't have... not even getting what
you deserve. It is getting nothing and somehow
getting everything. If you see it the way that i did,
you wouldn't ask anymore and still be wise.
Perhaps if we can see again through the same
eyes we used to look at before... through that
same window, maybe they would say we are the
first to break the cliche.

Always,
Your loving friend HEART

PARA KAY B

Aside sa latest book ni Bob Ong.. super inaabangan ko rin ang PARA kay B ni Ricky Lee. Ang gaganda ng feedback na nababasa ko from readers. For sure enjoy din yun basahin. Sana lang makabili ko kagad pag-uwi ko sa PInas.

Ilan sa mga mapupulot sa book - salamat ulit kay Katz. :)

Hindi mo makakatuluyan ang great love mo. Ang makakatuluyan mo ang correct love mo. :)

hindi mo pwedeng mahalin ang isang tao nang hindi mo minamahal ang hiliga, silangan, timog at kanluran ng kanyang paniniwala Kapag nagmahal ka'y dapat mong tanggapin bawat letra ng kanyang birth certificate. Kasama na doon and kanyang libag, utot at bad breath -- agree

pero me limit. pantay pantay ang binibigay na karapatan sa lahat ng tao upang lumigaya, o masaktan o magpakagago pero kapag sumara na ang mga pinto, nawasak na ang mga puso, nawala ang mga kaluluwa at ang bilang ay umabot na sa zero, goodbye na... – hmmmm

quotes from BOB ONG's Kapitan SINO

Super excited na ko sa new book ni Bob ong as in.. kaya pag-uwi ko sa pinas hindi pwedeng hindi ako makakabili.

Ilan sa mga quotes ni Bob Ong from his new book Kapitan SIno - salamat dito Katz! =)

Hindi na babalik ang dati. Walang gamot na makakapagbalik ng dati.

Kung may kapangyarihan ka nga, pangsagip man ng buhay ng tao o pamperya, dapat ginagamit yan!

Kung ano yung meron ka ibinabahagi mo sa iba, kung ano yung kaya mo ginagawa mo. Yun yon eh!

Ba’t ka umaalalay sa matanda sa pagtawid sa kalsada? Kasi kaya mo. Ba’t mo pinupulot ang batang nadadapa? Kasi kaya mo. May lakas ka para itama ang mali, para tumulong sa mahihina….

Masyado ka namang matanong! Anong grade ka na ba? Bawal pa sa’yo magbasa nang magbasa!

Wala akong paningin. Hindi ako nakakakita ng maskara. Kung sino ka talaga, yun lang ang nakikita ko.

Dahil maraming pwedeng magkagusto sa’yo nang di ikaw ang nakikita nila kundi kung ano ang itsura mo.

Alam mo ba ang pinagkaiba ng mga bulag at ng mga nakakakita? Hindi alam ng mga nakakakita kung kelan sila bulag.

Sabi ng tatay ko dati, wag daw akong malungkot dahil mga panlabas na anyo lang ang di ko makikita, pero mas makikilala ko ang mundo sa kung ano ito dahil di ako mabubulag ng mga anyo.

Maraming tao dito ang mas malungkot pa sa taong nakatira sa buwan. Saka hindi naman kailangan ang maraming tao para bumuo ng mundo e. Minsan isang tao lang ang kasama mo, buo na ang mundong kailangan mo habambuhay.

May kapangyarihan ka, pero hindi mo hawak ang buhay ng tao.

Itigil mo ang ginagawa mo kung hindi ka masaya. Hindi ka yayaman dyan. Ni hindi mo yan makukuhanan ng pambayad ng kuryente. Hindi ka magkakaroon ng pagkakataon umibig at ibigin. Magliligtas ka ng mga di mo kaanu-ano, at makakasakit ka ng mga kadugo. Sabay mong lalabanan ang sariling kahinaan at iiwasan ang paglamon sa’yo ng sobrang kapangyarihan. Magmaskara ka man o hindi, huhusgahan ka ng mga tao. Hindi ka pasasalamatan ng trabaho mo, uulit-ulitin nya lang ang sarili nya.

Hindi ka bayani dahil sa mga kaya mong gawin. Bayani ka dahil sa mga ginawa mo.

Kung lahat lang ng tao may kapangyarihan, eh di sana lahat tayo bayani.

Kung lahat ng tao may konsensya, hindi kailangan ng bayani.

Hindi hawak ng tao ang buhay, pero hawak ng tao ang kapangyarihan para hindi pahirapan ang ibang tao.

samu't saring BOB ONG quotes

* can't remember if na-post ko na to dito.. pero last year ko pa to napost sa multiply ko. wla lang.. BONG ONG mode ako ngayun eh. =)

PAG-IBIG

"Kung hindi mo mahal and isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para
mahalin ka nya.."

"Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga
lang,
hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."

"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak
para
alagaan ang sarili mo."

"Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng
iba."

"Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

"Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

"Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung
walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

"Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo..
Dapat
lumandi ka din."

"Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na
araw
ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

"Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi
pagkukusa."

"Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin
na di
mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

"Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag
natuto
silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?"

"Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na
sa
bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama
ka."

"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang
puso
mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon,
kung
magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo
na
kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag
mong
isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo:
magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso,
utak,
atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW
mismo!"

PAG-AARAL

"Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka
pagtanda mo
dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na
walang
pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)."

"Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng
syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung
kanino
ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming
subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka.
Isa-isa
tayong ga-graduate, iba't-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga
alaala ng
kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap
nating baguhin minsan..."

"Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang
paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga
taong
literado pero hindi nagbabasa."

"dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung 'di mo pagtityagaan, limang
dekada
ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi. kung alam lang 'yan ng mga
kabataan,
sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela."

BUHAY (IN GENERAL)

"nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito
multiple
choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-
blanks na
sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi
base sa
kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga
isinulat
o wala. Allowed ang erasures."

"Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang
nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang
umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung
saan ang
mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."

"Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya,
palpak
mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may
pagkukulang
sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa
pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa
kili-kili.
Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at
bait
sa sarili."

"Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo
mang
kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World
Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong
pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa'yo. Kung hindi
nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa
jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter
dahil
nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?"

"Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon
ka
man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos
ang
oras."

HALO-HALO

"Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon sa hinaharap,
mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng
kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling
mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman.
Sa
paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e
nagmumukha
ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

"ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko."

"hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"

"hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay
kasinungalingan na
ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. "

"Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong
sa'yo
- ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro
namigay
ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana
ang
utak ng tao."

"Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto,
responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko."

"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao,
tulad
ko."

"Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa
paggawa ng
wala."

"iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala."

"iba ang informal gramar sa mali!!!"

" Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera? Kung kailangan sa buhay un,
dapat
matagal na kong patay."

"Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan. In
English,
FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!"

super duper likot mo baby!!!

ewan ko ba kung san nagmana ang kidlat ko. super likot.. mula morning hanggang gabi.. hanggang madaling araw.. kahit ang papa nya pag nakayakap sakin nagigising.

just like now.. ayaw tumigil.. natatawa nga mga officemates ko kc yung tyan ko nakikita nila na gumagalaw. hehheh

ay naku.. prang tatay nya na di mapakali. heheh

ay Kidlat gusto k na namin makita! =)

goodbye jay-n

I don't want to question anymore why you have to end your life that way. I just want to think and believe that you are now at peace. Nanghihinayang pa rin ako sa pagkawala mo.. you are so young.. and you have so many dreams to make. Marami pa sana Jay.. marami pa sana tayong pagsasamahan. I remembered talking to you last year before Christmas... nag-usap tayo and you told me things will be better. I wish you were more open with your feelings.. sana mas nabantayan pa kita. Nakikinig ka naman sakin diba? I know you suffered with family problems and you always wanted to escape and get away.. but I never thought it will end this way. Partly yes, I saw it coming... sana lang naagapan pa. But It was you, yourself who made the desicion to end end your life..just like that.

I can't think of anything to say now. I know God is a BIG GOD with a BIG Heart and he'll understand what you have been through.. and forgive you with what you have done. Sana Jay kasama ka na ni GOd... watching us up there.

You will always be with me.. you will always be with my prayers. Salamat sa pakikinig mo rin sakin before sa mga walng kwentang kwento at payo ko.. thank you for treating me as your ate. Super lungkot lang kasi di ako makauwi ngayun para makita pa kita for the last time.

Mahal ka namin.. and I hope I showed you somehow that I treasure you so much. Hndi ka namin makakalimutan.

Rest in peace Jay.

sick leave

i dunno kung nanganganib na ko sa office kasi super napapadalas ang sick leave ko.
what to do??? may sakit talga ako. i won't waste 200 dirhams sa pagpapacheck up para lang
maka-absent ng 2 days noh.

one sure thing.. di ko naenjoy ang sick leave ko dahil super sakit ng ipin ko. namamaga ang mukha ko at sobrang di ako makakain. i can't even open my mouth para lang ipasok ung kutsara sa bibig ko. imagine kung gano kahirap un???

the hardest part di nman ako pwede uminum ng gamot. well, as per the doctor pwede n daw ako bunutan ng ipin, uminum ng pain reliever at antibiotic - but i chose not to. ayoko.. nagwoworry ako sa pwedeng mangyari sa baby ko. i don't like to end up blaming myself dahil may bad na ngyari sa knya dahil sa kakainum ng gamot.

kaya eto.. tiis lang muna. :(

latest pics ng buntis

eto na ko ngayun..
mejo nangangamatis na ang ilong..
lumalapad ang mukha
naglalakihan ang mga patang legs..
nagkakaron na ng stretched marks
at tumataba na..

heheh actually sabi nila dahil mejo maliit ako.. mukha lang daw akong neneng na lumaki ang tyan. heheh hindi pa kc talaga ako totally na tumataba.. mejo normal pa ang size ng mga braso ko. kung minsan nkakatanggap ako ng mga kakaibang titig from our fellow kabayan dito sa dubai.. mula ulo hanggang paa tlaga as in. ewan ko ba.. i always get this ANG-AGA-NITO-LUMANDI look.. gusto ko tuloy maglagay ng plakard - 26 NA PO AKO! hehehe...

ilang buwan n lang lalabas na rin yan si Kidlat at ang maiiwan na lang sa tyan ko puro mga marks.. yyaaayy.. pero ok lang.. ang sabi nga ng doctor ko.. those are marks of a being a mother. :)

teribleng LBM

i really don't know what happened at kaming tatlo sa bahay sabay sabay sinakitan ng tyan at present sa CR ng madaling araw.

ano bang kinain namin?? yung sinigang ko??? maayos naman pagkaluto ko eh.. i even used mineral water para sa sabaw ng sinigang.

water??? di naman kami umiinum ng tubig sa gripo eh.. it's not safe alam na namin yun.

wala ng iba.

wala kaming unusual na kinain. :(

4 am nagising ako masakit ang tyan ko.. next yung sister ko tapos si mister. hanggang sa opis pabalik-balik.. wawa naman yung bebe ko.

sana last na yung kaninang hapon.. ayoko na.. pagod na yung pwet ko. waaahhhhhhhhh :(

chasing cars

Chasing Cars - snow patrol

*been singing this from morning.. such a sweet song. :)

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

meet our smiling baby

look at our baby.. alam na ata nya na pipicturan sya at naka-smile talaga. parang naghehello lang.. heheh anlaki na nya. super likot and keeps on moving and kicking the whole day lalo na pag nakakaamoy na ko ng food ayaw na nya tumigil. yung papa allan nya nakatikim na rin ng sipa nya the other night.. parang ayaw nya embrace ko papa nya. heheheh

excited na kami.. :)

lubshu baby!

in between

parang sasabog na yung utak ko... yoko na mag-isip. ba't ang hirap magdecide? it's not always as easy as 1-2-3.

stay here? for now sana.. feeling ko wrong move talaga kung uuwi ako pinas at hindi na babalik.

kaya ko pa magtiis...

kaya pa.

doraemon says

some nice pieces of advice from cartoon character Doraemon:

"Hindi porke kaya mong gawin ang isang bagay ay dapat mo na itong gawin.”
-oo nga naman..

“Hindi mo dapat iniiyakan ang nakaraan.Isipin mo,bakit nasa harap ang mata? Ito ay para lagi mong nakikita ang iyong hinaharap.”
-sapul aku dun oh!


"Mahirap maging matanda. Wala ng mas matanda pa na titingin sa iyo.”
-haha yun lang!


“Huwag mong ipakitang malungkot ka sa ibang tao kung wala kang balak magshare ng problema.Para kang nag-alok ng hopia pero di mo naman ibibigay.”
-correct!

--- repost from http://pseudoidentity.multiply.com/journal/item/218/Doraemon_says

Lisa Marie Presley on Michaels death

He Knew.

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.


I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.


~LMP

http://blogs.myspace.com/lisamariepresley

lost

there are times that i want to say something but i run out of words..
or i must say i dunno how to put into words the thoughts and emotions i have inside.
ba't ba minsan ang hirap?
i want to ask questions pero ayokong marinig ang sagot
maybe from the very start i know the answers but still i doubt if those are for real
or dapat ko pa bang itanong?
what seems to be so wrong??

i dunno..

i'm lost.

sobrang miss ko na..

fishball sa kalye

ihaw-ihaw lalo na ang isaw at adidas

kwekwek sa pinas

ice candy lalo na yung matataba

champorado ng kapitbahay namin

lechon.. yumyum!!!

jollibee

henlin siomai.. super miss ko na :(

PEDICAB- wala kasing pedicab dito kaya kelangan ,o maglakad ng super layo..satin ngkalat lang ang pedicab

sumakay sa bumpcar.. haha enjoy! :)

maglaro ng paintball..

uminom sa bar..

kakamiss na inumin yung mga alak jan.. hehhe

magtiendesitas..

kumanta kahit wala sa tono ng walang humpay.. heheh

kakamiss din ang CUBA.

miss ko na sila..

super namimiss ko na talaga ang batang 'to.. lab you pen!

at sobrang dami ko pang namimiss.. as in. :(
MISS KO NA ANG TONDO, ANG PAMILYA, FRIENDS KO, MISS KO NA ANG PINAS!