We love to talk… we can talk about anything under the sun. from kulitan mode to serious mode to emo mode. We really talk about us most of the time. One thing about our relationship na hindi mawawala ay ang communication. Mas gusto namin ang mag-usap kesa magsigawan at magaway.. So far so good kami pagdating dyan.. pinaguusapan namin ang mga bagay bagay o kung anu ano lang… kahit ang problema.. kahit ang isang masakit na nakaraan.. ang kasalanan nya..kasalanan ko.. ang mga naramdaman ko in the past.. lahat yun napag-uusapan namin ng usap lang. And last night after watchin Narnia, we went to bed and talk about “us” like what we always do.
Kwentuhan lang bago matulog.. then he started to tell me sweet things.. mga bagay na palagi nya sinasabi sakin.
“ang swerte ko sayo mahal”
“kalokohan ang iwan ka..”
“hindi ko kakayaning matulog dito ng wala ka at di ka na katabi”
“wala na ko makikita pa na katulad mo..”
“sobra mo ko asikasuhin..”
“mahal na mahal kita..”
“mawala na sakin ang lahat wag lang ikaw..”
He was looking at me.. and I felt his sincerity. Tuwing sasabihan nya ko ng mga ganun lague ako naiiyak kasi pakiramdam ko tumatagos lahat ng salita nya hanggang sa loob ng katawan ko.
Then parang nagrewind lahat.. I end up asking him one question..
“bakit mo ko sinaktan?”
Then we talked about “us” again and dyena.. He started to tell me things na narinig ko na. Minsan ganun lang.. binabalikan lang namin para maubos na lahat. We were embracing each other and crying..trying to burst out everything.
“alam ko kasalanan ko lahat..nasaktan kita noon pero pinagsisisihan ko na ngayon.”
“alam mo mahal..yung nangyari sa ating tatlo ni dyena.. ako ang may kasalanan.. ako yun.”
Then I replied.. “alam ko”
“hindi ko talaga alam kung pano ko nagawa at nasabi yung mga bagay na yun sa knya.. alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi kita kayang iwan at ayoko na talga sa knya. Nakain lang talga ako ng awa.. yung kalbaryo na naranasan at nararanasan nya kasi dahil yun sa kin. Nangako ako sa kanya dati na hindi ko sya iiwan.. pero alam nman nya yun eh na npabayaan din naman nya ko.. na may kasalanan din nman sya sa mga nangyari samin. Ang nasa isip ko nun alam ko nman na bibitawan din nya ko… alam ko isang araw bibitaw din sya. Gusto ko lang sya pasayahin tapos aantayin ko na lang na bibitawan nya ko”
“marami kami pinagdaanan nun.. sobrang dami.. pero tapos na yun..”
Then like what I always do.. pag nagsasalita na sya at naglalabas ng nararamdaman nya.. nakikinig lang ako.. I’ll just hold him tight.. kahit na ano pa yung sinasabi nya.. pinaparamdam ko lague sa kanya na nakiknig lang ako sa mga sasabihin nya..
I asked him.. “gusto mo ba sya kitain pag umuwi tayo? Yung totoo?”
Then he said.. “ang totoo? Hindi ko alam.” “ Parang gusto ko sya kitain pero kasama kita.. gusto kita ipakilala sa knya.. gusto ko rin magsorry sa kanya..”
I said ok lang sakin na magmeet kayo paguwi natin as long as alam ko.. I touched his face and told him “mas masaya ang mundo kung walang kaaway na tao. Dapat ka talgang magsorry.. pwede mo nman ayusin yung sa inyong dalawa, diba? Mas maganda yung ganun lalo na mahaba din nman ang pinagsamahan nyo. Makipag-ayos ka sa knya para mawala na yung mga bitterness at kung ano pa..kung ano man ang naramdaman nya at nararamdaman pa nya alam mo na kasalanan mo yun..”
I don’t know. Siguro kung may mga makakarinig lang ng sinasabi ko sasabihin praning ako. Na dapat nga pinagbabawalan ko pa sya na kitain yun.. am I pushing them to be back together? Hell no.. I just want them to settle everything…ayokong maging magkaaway silang dalawa. They don’t need to be back as close friends.. pero at least hindi nman magkaaway. Just like what I told her… ayoko rin na maging kaaway ko sya..
Hindi ko alam ang mga pwedeng mangyari pag-uwi namin…I hope God will guide the three of us.. kung ano ang mas makakabuti sana yun ang mangyari. Kung gusto nya na magkita kita kaming tatlo.. ok lang din. I am ready for that.. but kung makakagulo lang kami kay Dyena.. or simply hndi makakabuti pa for now sa kanya.. ok lang din..
Kung magkakasalubong.. why not. I can always smile at her.. :)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
...i know someone who hates me so much..pwede magmention ng name?
Natutuwa lang ako magsasagot ng mga survey sa friendster.. here's another Q & A:
Have you ever been in a perfect relationship?
....I don't think there is such perfect relationship.
What was the last thing you bought?
... sibuyas at patatas. hhehe
.
Do you know when your father's birthday is?
... yes
.
What was the last movie you watched?
... eagle eye
.
Do people hate you?
...i know someone who hates me so much..pwede magmention ng name? her name is dyena hahah
What are you listening to?
... naahh..wala eh
Who was the last person to dance with you?
...mister
.
Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
.. hhmmm may tao ata nun nung ni-kiss nya ko nung papasok na sya sa office.
.
What's the reason behind your fs song?
...meron ba ko dto? wala eh.. hehhe video lang..colorful. one of my fav
.
Have you ever liked someone older than you?
...yeah.. but not that old.
.
Have you ever kissed someone named Jessica?
... hehhe nope
.
When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
... Sept 25.. i was so down that day.
.
Have you ever had a pet fish?
... yes...
.
Is there a person of the opposite sex that means a lot to you?
...syempre.. a lot as in! c mister!
.
Have you ever felt replaced?
...yes..
.
What do you do when you have a bad day?
...depends how bad.. i cry.. i go out and spend time with MYSELF, food trip, sound trip..or i'll drink
.
Do you ever turn off your cellphone?
...oo naman
.
Where is your best/close friends at this exact moment?
...dxb and mla
.
What was the last thing that left you very pissed?
...don't wannna remember
.
Have you heard a song that reminds you of anyone today?
...no
.
Do you listen to love songs when you’re down?
...yes..
.
Do you say sorry first?
...yeah.. i hate conflict.
.
Do you want to tell someone how you feel?
... yes...
.
If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick?
...mister and penpen
.
What' s irritating you right now?
...hhmm.. so far wala nman
.
What are you doing today?
...work.. and baka lumabas kami later ni hubby
Are you tanned?
...yeah.. as in!
.
What were you up to at 11pm last night ?
...hhaha ginigising ako ni mister taht time
.
What happened at 10:00 am today?
...talking to someone over the phone
.
How many hours did you sleep last night?
...7 hrs?
.
Does anyone call you baby?
...before
.
Would you get married if you could right now?
...i am married
.
Are you in a good mood?
...hehe yes i am
.
Where did you last sleep other than your house?
...bahay lang talga
.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
....mister
Do you get 8 hours of sleep every day?
...no
.
Are you a forgiving person?
...yes..sobra.
.
Do you believe what goes around comes around?
...oo nman..
.
Who was the last person you ate with?
...mister
.
Are you mad about anything?
...no
.
Do you miss anyone?
... yes..sobra
.
Do you have any bruises?
...nope
.
Do you sing in the shower?
...yeah.. hahha kahit hindi sa shower!
.
What was the last thing you did?
... nagkape
.
Do you drink more water or juice?
... water
.
Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?
...no.. beginning of this year single pa ko.. hehhe and really.. i changed a lot.
Have you ever been in a perfect relationship?
....I don't think there is such perfect relationship.
What was the last thing you bought?
... sibuyas at patatas. hhehe
.
Do you know when your father's birthday is?
... yes
.
What was the last movie you watched?
... eagle eye
.
Do people hate you?
...i know someone who hates me so much..pwede magmention ng name? her name is dyena hahah
What are you listening to?
... naahh..wala eh
Who was the last person to dance with you?
...mister
.
Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
.. hhmmm may tao ata nun nung ni-kiss nya ko nung papasok na sya sa office.
.
What's the reason behind your fs song?
...meron ba ko dto? wala eh.. hehhe video lang..colorful. one of my fav
.
Have you ever liked someone older than you?
...yeah.. but not that old.
.
Have you ever kissed someone named Jessica?
... hehhe nope
.
When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
... Sept 25.. i was so down that day.
.
Have you ever had a pet fish?
... yes...
.
Is there a person of the opposite sex that means a lot to you?
...syempre.. a lot as in! c mister!
.
Have you ever felt replaced?
...yes..
.
What do you do when you have a bad day?
...depends how bad.. i cry.. i go out and spend time with MYSELF, food trip, sound trip..or i'll drink
.
Do you ever turn off your cellphone?
...oo naman
.
Where is your best/close friends at this exact moment?
...dxb and mla
.
What was the last thing that left you very pissed?
...don't wannna remember
.
Have you heard a song that reminds you of anyone today?
...no
.
Do you listen to love songs when you’re down?
...yes..
.
Do you say sorry first?
...yeah.. i hate conflict.
.
Do you want to tell someone how you feel?
... yes...
.
If you could cuddle with anyone right now, who would you pick?
...mister and penpen
.
What' s irritating you right now?
...hhmm.. so far wala nman
.
What are you doing today?
...work.. and baka lumabas kami later ni hubby
Are you tanned?
...yeah.. as in!
.
What were you up to at 11pm last night ?
...hhaha ginigising ako ni mister taht time
.
What happened at 10:00 am today?
...talking to someone over the phone
.
How many hours did you sleep last night?
...7 hrs?
.
Does anyone call you baby?
...before
.
Would you get married if you could right now?
...i am married
.
Are you in a good mood?
...hehe yes i am
.
Where did you last sleep other than your house?
...bahay lang talga
.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
....mister
Do you get 8 hours of sleep every day?
...no
.
Are you a forgiving person?
...yes..sobra.
.
Do you believe what goes around comes around?
...oo nman..
.
Who was the last person you ate with?
...mister
.
Are you mad about anything?
...no
.
Do you miss anyone?
... yes..sobra
.
Do you have any bruises?
...nope
.
Do you sing in the shower?
...yeah.. hahha kahit hindi sa shower!
.
What was the last thing you did?
... nagkape
.
Do you drink more water or juice?
... water
.
Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?
...no.. beginning of this year single pa ko.. hehhe and really.. i changed a lot.
survey : I am.. more than happy!
ARE YOU
►Perfect: definitely no
►Tall: nope
►In your pajamas: no
►Lefthanded: no
================================ =======
LAST
►Friend you saw:sobrang close? january pa ata
►Talked to on the phone: mister
►Person to text you: mister
►Is today better than yesterday: same day as yesterday..
=================================== ====
FAVORITE :
►Number: 6 & 8
►Color: red, black, pink
►Food: shrimps, bulalo,pizza,pasta,siomai
►Place: room with hubby
============================= ==========
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: What was the first thing you did?
- jumped out of my bed
Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
- right now? nothing.., but sometimes my mind will automatically rewind and then i'll feel bothered again..just like now..aarrggh
Q: What's the last movie you watched
in theaters?
- eagle eye
Q: Where is the last place you went?
- towers rotana hotel
Q: Do you wish upon stars?
- yes..always do
Q: Where did you sleep last night?
- our bed
Q: Why did you sleep there?
- it's our bed.. can't slip without hubby
Q: When was the last time you cried?
- few nights ago..
Q: What do you hear right now?
- AC
Q: Does anything hurt you right now?
- no
Q: What's your favorite month?
- january
============================== == =======
EMOTIONS:
► Are u missing someone right now?
- YES
► Are you single
- yes.. 9 months ago.. hehhe
► Are your parents still married?
- yes
====================================== =
BASICS:
►Real name: jennifer jasme
►Age? : 25
►Eye color? : brown
►Zodiac sign?: gemini
►Male or female?: female
►Single? : married
►Crushing someone?:
-Yup!
►Smart? : in some areas..heheh
►Hair color? : brown
►Sweats or Jeans? : jeans
►Phone or Camera? : camera
►Health freak? : nope
►Righty or lefty? : righty
====================== ================
FIRSTS :
►First best friend: first? ondet
►First award: honorable mention? (kinder)
►First enemy? : madami ata nung bata ko
►First vacation? : camotes island
CURRENTLY:
►Eating? : no
►Drinking? : no
►Listening to? : LSS nothing's gonna stop us now
►Plans for tommorow? : work
=======================================
WHIC H IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE
GENDER: ^-^
►Caring or heck care? : caring
►Shorter or taller? : taller
►Romantic or spontaneous? : romantically spontaneous :p (just coppied kuya dodz)
►Sensitive or loud? : in between
►Hook-up or in arelationship: in a relationship
=================================== ===
HAVE YOU EVER:
►Lost glasses/contacts?: yup
►Ran away from home?: yeah
►Broke someone's heart?: yeah..more than once
===================================
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
►Do you like someone? : nope i love someone
►Are you seriously happy with
where you are in life? : I AM..more than happy.
►Perfect: definitely no
►Tall: nope
►In your pajamas: no
►Lefthanded: no
================================ =======
LAST
►Friend you saw:sobrang close? january pa ata
►Talked to on the phone: mister
►Person to text you: mister
►Is today better than yesterday: same day as yesterday..
=================================== ====
FAVORITE :
►Number: 6 & 8
►Color: red, black, pink
►Food: shrimps, bulalo,pizza,pasta,siomai
►Place: room with hubby
============================= ==========
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: What was the first thing you did?
- jumped out of my bed
Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
- right now? nothing.., but sometimes my mind will automatically rewind and then i'll feel bothered again..just like now..aarrggh
Q: What's the last movie you watched
in theaters?
- eagle eye
Q: Where is the last place you went?
- towers rotana hotel
Q: Do you wish upon stars?
- yes..always do
Q: Where did you sleep last night?
- our bed
Q: Why did you sleep there?
- it's our bed.. can't slip without hubby
Q: When was the last time you cried?
- few nights ago..
Q: What do you hear right now?
- AC
Q: Does anything hurt you right now?
- no
Q: What's your favorite month?
- january
============================== == =======
EMOTIONS:
► Are u missing someone right now?
- YES
► Are you single
- yes.. 9 months ago.. hehhe
► Are your parents still married?
- yes
====================================== =
BASICS:
►Real name: jennifer jasme
►Age? : 25
►Eye color? : brown
►Zodiac sign?: gemini
►Male or female?: female
►Single? : married
►Crushing someone?:
-Yup!
►Smart? : in some areas..heheh
►Hair color? : brown
►Sweats or Jeans? : jeans
►Phone or Camera? : camera
►Health freak? : nope
►Righty or lefty? : righty
====================== ================
FIRSTS :
►First best friend: first? ondet
►First award: honorable mention? (kinder)
►First enemy? : madami ata nung bata ko
►First vacation? : camotes island
CURRENTLY:
►Eating? : no
►Drinking? : no
►Listening to? : LSS nothing's gonna stop us now
►Plans for tommorow? : work
=======================================
WHIC H IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE
GENDER: ^-^
►Caring or heck care? : caring
►Shorter or taller? : taller
►Romantic or spontaneous? : romantically spontaneous :p (just coppied kuya dodz)
►Sensitive or loud? : in between
►Hook-up or in arelationship: in a relationship
=================================== ===
HAVE YOU EVER:
►Lost glasses/contacts?: yup
►Ran away from home?: yeah
►Broke someone's heart?: yeah..more than once
===================================
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
►Do you like someone? : nope i love someone
►Are you seriously happy with
where you are in life? : I AM..more than happy.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
ang puso ko ay naguumapaw sa kasiyahan
Parang kahapon lang
malakas ang ulan
Tinatangay ako ng malamig na hangin
patungo sa gitna ng kawalan..
…at ngayon..
tumila na ang ulan.
Nahugasan ang buong paligid
At nagkabahaghari sa kalangitan
- ang puso ko ay naguumapaw sa kasiyahan..
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